she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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