is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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