He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
