i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
