grandma shit on top of the toilet
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
