I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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