OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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