So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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