Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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