69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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