ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
