Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
