loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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