apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
