I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
