He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
