dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
