in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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