Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize