didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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