i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
