Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
