um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
