but the lizard people decide everything anyway
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
