what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
