he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
