But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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