Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
