May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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