I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
