I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize