dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
please come you make the beer taste better
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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