Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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