I heard we made out
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
