I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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