I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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