I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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