i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She just used a chaser for red wine.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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