i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
