i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
