Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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