i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
