I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
