I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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