his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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