You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
