The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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