oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
