went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
