I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize