Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
