I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
