I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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