yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
