I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
