Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
