he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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