Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
