the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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