there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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