i jhust puked up my retainher.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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